Why do I hate beige carpeting, you ask? Or: Ode to My Vacuum

Ever seen little kids? Ever seen how they kind of run around, aimlessly, without direction or purpose? Denis Leary put it best. Kids under the age of 5, they are drunken midgets in movement.

When last we had one of Chris’ nieces over, she was given two or three Oreos to munch on with a glass of milk.

Which resulted in a connect-the-dots of sorts all over the dining room and living room beige carpeting. It resembled no known star constellation, if you were wondering.

That‘s why I hate beige carpeting.

But I have a brand new vacuum cleaner. It’s odd, it really is. I have this tendency to do a lot of research on the things I’m interested in. I buy the object of my desire, and then. The item I just purchased is discontinued.

It’s an Electrolux Oxygen canister something or other. Hepa filter and all that jazz. After just three weeks of ownership the bag was actually full. No surprise really. The carpeting was new-ish and the roller brush was picking up loose carpet fibers.

Did you know that the Electroluxes in the market are not the old-school, it still runs 75 years later Electroluxes? It’s true! The name Electrolux was bought/licensed out by Hoover/Eureka folk. So the old-school canister vacuums that still run 75 years later are now called Aerus Electrolux and they are difficult to find. I believe you can only buy one of these machines through certified dealers. The basic Aerus Electrolux model starts at $700. Let me say that again: $700. For $700 I expected that it would also do my laundry but that’s not the case.

Anyway. I love my new vacuum cleaner. It’s satisfying to hear the crinkle/crackle of whatever being sucked up into the waste bag. It’s also satisfying to see the carpet treads resulting from a fresh vacuuming. Yea, yeah, I know: next I’ll be donning my best pearl strand and wearing high heels with an apron covering my Christian Dior-esque “New Look” dress. I actually look for excuses to plug in the vacuum and create new carpet treads.

Chris has a roomba. Which he really loves but I hate. One of the selling points for the roomba was that you could turn it on and then, hey, you can leave the house while it vacuums for you! Well, actually the roomba is more of a sweeper and it is impressive what it sweeps up. But it has a tendency to get trapped and tangled in things. Which is why Chris never runs the thing when we’re getting ready to leave the house. So I have to listen to the dang thing growl as it proceeds to sweep a 14′ x 14′ room for 40 minutes. No. Not 10 minutes. 40. During which time it gets trapped or entangled in something. And you do have to move the furniture around just so that this thing gets where it should and should not. Chris has created mini-forts of sorts out of chairs when he hasn’t been able to locate the laser sensor things that the roomba picks up–the laser tells the roomba “You may not pass!”

Oh hey.  Look at that. I can vacuum that same room in about ten minutes. And my machine is quieter. And I didn’t have to rearrange furniture or employ lasers. I guess the one thing about the roomba is that it sings a little jingle when it’s done to tell you  “I’m done! Love me!” Oh, and it’s small and takes up very little real estate.

But I could do without the roomba. I’m sure Chris feels the same way about my non-old school, still running after 75 years Electrolux canister vacuum. He sheepishly admitted, though, that he too liked seeing the vacuum tracks in the carpet.

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About Em-O-Lee

What's to know, really? I am here. People like me, love me and hate me. And that's all there is to it. If you found me, it's because you kno
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